Book talk: Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made by Stephan Pastis

Timmy Failure runs his own detective agency, is flunking out of school, has a polar bear named Total, and rides his mom's Segway, which he's not ever, ever supposed to do. He's pretty good at keeping his mother in the dark, but the Segway - his Failuremobile - has been stolen, which means there will be pain and suffering on Timmy's part. A guy's gotta have wheels.

Come to think of it, there are two other females associated with pain and suffering: the first is Molly Moskins. She's in his class, and she smells like a tangerine. She's got a crush on Timmy, and he wants nothing to do with her. 

But she's nothing compared to the evil one. The evil one is so evil that Timmy doesn't even want you to see her picture. He blocks out her head with a black square. I'm not even going to say her real name. You can call her the evil one, or Weevil Bun. Take your pick. She runs her own detective agency, and she's so good at school that she actually tutors other kids. But you know what? Timmy has her detective log. The Holy Grail. Ahhh....revenge....

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made by Stephan Pastis. 294 p. 2013: Candlewick. Booktalk to grades 3-7.