You Can't Make Me: Funny, Subversive Picture Books

Any toddler or preschooler who hasn't gotten his or her way can be creatively subversive and funny, too, if you're not on the receiving end.

Maybe you do need a bath.

Mo Willems' picture books featuring the Pigeon are both hilarious and true: hilarious because the pigeon is subversive by nature, and true because he's basically an intelligent, strong-willed preschooler. The Pigeon Needs a Bath!, one of Mo Willems' newer ones, has snarky flies (even they think the Pigeon reeks), zesty Pigeon diatribes and excuses, and a satisfying ending.


Meet the next level of the will to power. Achilles, a young crocodile, would really like to eat a child. We know that this is a bad idea, but he sticks to it anyways.

Achilles really is pretty cute.

His parents bring him all kinds of edible treats, but his ingratitude grows, as does his desire to eat a child. Sure enough, Achilles does encounter a child. Will we be grossed out? Find out in Sylviane Donnio's I'd Really Like to Eat a Child. (Yes, it's completely appropriate. Duh.)



Ever been interrupted by a young child? Repeatedly? You'll appreciate Peter Catalanotto's Ivan the Terrier in which Ivan repeatedly interrupts the narrator's fairy tale with his hyperactive barking.

Ivan the Terrier by Peter Catalanotto

Exhausted, the poor narrator keeps switching to a different tale, only to get interrupted again by barking. But Ivan, like a young child, will get tired (eventually). Young children will delight in finding Ivan in pictures where he is barely visible.

That appliance looks unreliable!

Fix this Mess by Tedd Arnold begins with my own dream come true: a Remote Operating Basic Utility Gizmo ("cleans your house!" according to the box) -- R.O.B.U.G, super cute and looks portable. Looks are deceptive. Every time ROBUG's owner asks him to "fix this mess," ROBUG only makes the mess worse, while relocating the mess to a different location in the house. Sounds exactly like someone I know.

Booktalk: We Are in a Book! (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

Gerald the elephant and Piggie have the feeling that they are being watched. [Show pp. 6-7] But who could it be? Who do you think is watching them? Right: you are! You’re the reader!

Gerald and Piggie have just realized they’re in a book! And what do they think about that? [Show pp. 18-19] It’s totally cool! [Show them dancing on pp. 20-21]. They are so, so excited to be in a book. Wouldn’t it be cool if you were in a book? You could do all sorts of amazing things.

And Piggie has realized that! He has realized that he can make YOU, his reader, say a word. Guess which word he picked? [Show pp. 28-29]. BANANA!!

[Turn to pp. 30-31]. You cracked them up! I haven’t seen Gerald and Piggie laugh this hard in ages! In fact, Gerald is laughing so hard he has to lie down on the floor! [Turn to pp. 34-35] I haven’t seen this many “ha ha’s” ever!

But what are Gerald and Piggie going to do when this book … ends?

We Are in a Book: [An Elephant and Piggie Book] by Mo Willems. Hyperion, 2010. 64 p. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice (2011-2012).

Booktalk: What Pet to Get? (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

Are you allowed to have a polar bear as a pet? Take a good look at the cover of this book: What Pet to Get by Emma Dodd. What’s wrong with owning a polar bear? [Take a few answers.] You bet: your house is too warm. Yeah: he might eat you, too. I understand. Fine, let’s get a different pet.

[Show pages 3-4 or pp. 5-6.] Hey! Great idea! An elephant! And you’d fit nicely on top, right? You look nervous. What’s wrong with owning an elephant? [Take a few answers.] Right: that’s what his mom said, too.

[Turn page to pp. 7-8: the lion.] Okay, next pet idea. You still look nervous. What’s wrong with owning a lion? I mean, the boy is feeding him, right? That cat food isn’t enough? Well, maybe the postman in the window there will bring a pet catalog or something.

[Turn to pp. 9-10: lion eating the postman]. Oh, shoot! He ate the mailman?! I can’t believe it. Okay, you were right: the lion was a very bad idea. I’m sorry.

This poor kid has had unbelievably bad luck with his ideas for a pet. But you know, his mom did promise him a pet, and he seems determined to get one.

What Pet to Get by Emma Dodd. Unpaged. Scholastic, 2008. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice 2011-2012.

Booktalk: A Isn't for Fox by Wendy Ullmer (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

For this booktalk, have post-it notes on the following pages in advance: the D/dragon page; the L/llamas page; the O/octopus page; the P/possums page;

 [Show the Letter D/dragon page]. Here we have the D page: D is for what? [wait for answer, then read the stanza]: “D isn’t for crow; it isn’t for snow. / D is for dragons from times long ago.” I hope he keeps his stinky breath away from that cat.

[Show the Letter L/ llamas page]. I see that this is the L page: can you tell me why? [wait for answer, then read the stanza]: “L isn’t for dramas; it isn’t for mamas / L is for llamas in fuzzy pajamas.”

[Show the Letter O/octopus page] I see that this is the O page: tell me why? [Wait for their answer, then read the stanza]: “O isn’t for docks; it isn’t for rocks / O is for octopus knitting four pairs socks.” Yeah, he needs a lot of socks.

[Show the P/possums page] Next we have the letter P: anyone know you call those animals? [Wait for answer, then read the stanza]: “P isn’t for goats; it isn’t for boats. / P is for possums in warm, furry coats.”

A Isn’t for Fox by Wendy Ullmer, illustrated by Laura Knorr. Unpaged. Sleeping Bear Press, 2007. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice for 2011-2012.

Booktalk: The Big Elephant in the Room by Lane Smith (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

Pretend your best friend is mad at you, and you don’t know why. You are wracking your brain for the reason. You know there’s a big, big reason which he is not bringing up. Nope, he’s going to let you figure it out. It’s what we call the elephant in the room. He even asks you what the big elephant in the room is! Oh no! You’re in trouble! So this is what you say…

Is it that I broke your computer? No…I guess it wasn’t that.

Is it that I took the cool bike and gave you the bad one? No…I guess it wasn’t that.

Is it that I told a girl you laughed so hard you peed your pants? No…I guess it wasn’t that.

Is that I picked you last for soccer … and baseball … and volleyball? No … I guess it wasn’t that.

Is it that I made fun of your Rainbow Pony backpack? Really? No … I guess it wasn’t that.

And this isn’t about the super glue “accident,” either? Okay, fine, not that one either.

Okay, you’re stumped. You still don’t know what the big elephant in the room is! You’d better get that info out of your best friend, or he won’t be your best friend much longer.

 The Big Elephant in the Room by Lane Smith. Unpaged. Disney/Hyperion Books, 2009. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice 2011-2012.

Booktalk: Machines Go to Work (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

[Have the following pages tabbed: fire truck/cherry blossom; the action news helicopter page; the tugboat page.]

[Open to double-page spread of the cherry blossom trees.] Oh no. There’s a fire truck under those cherry blossom trees. Please tell me they are not on fire. [Open page flap.] Oh! It’s a kitten stuck in a tree. The firefighter is setting her free.

[Turn page to action news helicopter.] The Action news helicopter is getting to the scene. [turn page to stopped traffic.] Has there been an accident? [Unfold flap.] No accident. A little family of ducks is crossing the road: so all traffic has stopped.

[Turn to tugboat page.] That is an awesome tugboat, but it seems to be in a huge hurry. [Turn page] How do you fit a huge container ship like that under a bridge? [Unfold flap.] The bridge went up, and the tugboat led the ship.

Read more stories like these in Machines Go to Work by William Low.

Machines Go to Work by William Low. 1 v. (unpaged). Henry Holt and Co., 2009. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice for 2011-2012.

Booktalk: Otis by Loren Long (Virginia Readers' Choice, 2011-2012)

[Show page {7-8}]. Can a tractor be a mom or a dad to a baby cow? Take a close look at this picture. Here we have a sleeping tractor. His name is Otis. He works hard all day in the fields, and at night he sleeps in the barn.

One night a scared baby cow, called a calf, could not fall asleep. The poor little calf was all alone, so Otis made some tractor noises and the baby calf fell fast asleep. After that the calf followed Otis the tractor everywhere. [Show pp. {11-12}] They played in the hay, they ran in circles together, and they’d sit under the apple tree and watch them farm. They were the best of friends.

[Turn the page, to the big yellow tractor.] Gasp. What’s this? Oh no, please tell me Otis is not being replaced. He’s such a good and loyal tractor! He’s always worked so hard on the farm! That new tractor is huge and scary looking! And what’s going to happen to the little calf if Otis isn’t around? What do you do if someone tries to replace your best friend?

Otis by Loren Long. Unpaged. Philomel Books: 2009. Booktalk to primary grades. Virginia Readers’ Choice for 2011-2012.